I love you, Daddy.

Today is Father's Day.

I'm sitting here crying;just heart-broken. I'm trying not to but I just can't force myself to be okay. So I'm just going to ride this wave.

I assumed being cheated on and lied to is a horrible feeling, I've been heart broken before by some boy, but no this is worse, because I lost you Daddy. I believe that you are in heaven but the pain is still there... It's like a hole in my chest that aches.

July 8th is the day you left at 4:00 o'clock in the morning. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to that day. It mark's one year since you have left this earth.

I can't even think straight right now, because it hurts. It's easy to say that you are up in heaven and everything will be okay.

It's hard to live through it.

I don't know how to explain what it feels like to see others celebrate this day because their dads are still breathing.

But what I can do is encourage someone out there who needs this. Someone needs to hear that they may have lost their natural father but they still have a Daddy from heaven that loves them very much. He doesn't take away from how special your father was, he adds to it. He created them, in his image, to be in your life to love you. He also knew you since you were formed in your mother's womb. Maybe you hate God. Maybe you don't know him. Well, I can assure he is helping me get through this. Without God, I would probably be somewhere in a corner rocking back and forth crying for all the times that I messed up as a daughter and all the moments that me and my dad shared laughing together. All the hide-and-go-seek games and horrible brownies my older sister and I made, that he pretended to love. But Abba, Father pulled me through it all. He gives me grace, love and peace. He gives me oil joy for my mourning. He comforts me in these times.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mathew 11:28

"... and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:3a

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

Thank you Father, for giving me an amazing Dad that loved his wife and children to pieces. Thank you for giving me a dad that I loved and will always love. You allowed me to have a bond that cannot easily be broken; a good soul tie. And even though he is in heaven with you, I have you to be with me on this earth. Though my dad, being human, was going to leave at some point, you never will and you never do. It's only if I chose to leave you.

And for those who don't have warm and fuzzy memories or any memories at all of your dads, Look to Him who is from heaven.