Don't Forget
- Yzmunda
- Jul 28, 2019
- 4 min read
2:38AM; Sunday 28, 2019
"... looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2
Distractions/The enemy
So I'm listening to this Song called God, You're So Good, and for the first time, the lyrics minster to me in a different way. Maybe not a different way, but, a deeper way. Originally, the words of this lovely song just made me think yes, God is good and because I follow Him, I am blessed, I am whole, etc. In that time, to me, it was more of a "thank you" song. And of course, if you listen to it, it still is, but it's different to me now, like I said, it's deeper.
As the music played and I began to sing, thoughts of certain situations that stirred up unhappy feelings, kept flashing through my mind. WHILE I am trying to worship in song. This happens while I am trying to keep my mind on the lord with no distractions.
Does this sound familiar? I know that everyone has had a wondering mind during worship service, or in our secret place with the Lord. It's no surprise. In all honesty, moments like these frustrate me because I feel as though I am not doing my best to make Jesus priority in those moments. I REBUKE short attention spans, in Jesus Name!
But today it more than just wondering thoughts, as I said earlier, these were thoughts of situations that caused me to frown. As I sang each word, I felt as though indignation was actually pouring out to God's ears. I quickly stopped that instant and tried again. But these sour feelings did not cease. So I paused for the tenth time, and asked myself what's actually wrong with me and how come it's not easy singing, "God you're so good?"
Welp! It turns out, there was a lot of baggage pushing through, mostly from past betrayals, and I wasn't exactly in a thankful mood. Especially not for the last 6 months. In that moment, I was blinded by all of that had gone wrong this year, low-key blaming Him. I could barely thank Him. If anyone out there is reading this and you've had problems saying thank you to Jesus, or, maybe you have been saying thank you and not really meaning it, you might actually have underlying beef with Jesus. Just saying. Might have to, uh, take care of that, homie. But seriously, I was speaking words out loud to God in annoyance, God's never annoying.
Rewind
Anyways, I played back the song, and sat there and just listened and meditated on the words of the song. And when I took a moment to pause and process how good God is, I began to hear something else. I began to hear that I have Jesus himself on my side. I began to remember all that I have gone through and that God has pulled me through it ALL; that I am still here. I began to hear, I am favored
and I am blessed because I have Him in my life as lord and savior. If I hadn't been walking life out with Jesus, these last couple months could have been worse. I forgot that God is still finishing the good work He'd started in my life. That He has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. That every laugh or smile, or good surprise was because of Him because I am still alive to even experience funny. I forgot that there were doors that opened for me and events this year that built character and caused me to be in a better place, a place of growth and change.
It's Easy To Forget
I see how easy it can be to just forget the good, and feed off the bad. I see how easy it can be to stay stuck in a "coulda shoulda" mindset, than to read between the lines and find those little hidden nuggets of hope and joy. I've seen people literally have something good happen to them and then in the same minute began to complain about how it could have been better. No one is perfect, and people go through A LOT. But, I don't want to be that way. I just want to follow Jesus and be happy doing it. After all, my joy does come from the Lord. Makes me think about the little episodes that John McReynolds posts on his Instagram, called Monday Casual. It's 8-10 minute episodes. The webisode is about him and his celeb friends reacting to Sunday Best, a gospel american idol that plays the day before. They were joking about how most Christians, specifically in the black community, get on stage with the most serious facial expressions, just dripping with heaviness, as if they've been through hell and back, and they probably have, but man could they lighten up and let people know they are HAPPY to do life with Christ.
The point is, I am so blessed and so favored to have God on my side. I get to be a part of the family of Christ. I have a father in heaven who is literally the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, and the creator of the universe. I got that! Thank you Lord, because you are so good and I can't forget it! We can't forget it.
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